Friday, June 26, 2009

Finishing

Is it harder to finish a writing project or begin a writing project?

This may be one of those chicken-and-egg questions, or sheerly a matter of temperament; but today fellow River Writer Andrew Kaplan and I were discussing this issue, and we both came down heavily on the hell-of-finishing side of the debate.

How many of us have half-written stories, novels, poems, screenplays, scripts, and songs hanging around? (Why, I believe I have at least one of each - well, I'm not sure I ever got past a treatment on the screenplay front.) Some members of River Writers still fondly recall my unfinished somewhat reptilian fantasy swashbuckler that has yet to get past page 50. There are at least seven short stories in various states of completion - or incompletion - and then there is my current musical theater project, which is having a little trouble getting through the second act.

It's not that I can't ever finish things. I've finished short stories that got published, opera and music theater pieces that got produced, articles, reviews, etc. etc. But. But. Sometimes it doesn't happen; sometimes work gets lost or dropped or put aside. And sometimes - as yesterday - it suddenly occurs to me that I am more than two-thirds of the way through my new project - my novel - and a wave of - terror is too big a word for it - I suppose anxiety will have to do - a wave, or at least a current, of anxiety hits me. Finishing the novel seems too final, too scary, and not nearly as far off as it was 200 pages ago. And so my writing hours get postponed from morning to evening, and suddenly it is now or a whole day will be lost, and I force myself to sit down at the computer and promise I will let myself get up after a paragraph if I really, really can't do it.

But - because the Muses were full of mercy yesterday - I didn't get up after a paragraph, time disappeared as soon I got got back into the story, and several hours passed quickly. A few more pages made their appearance, bringing me closer to The End. And I once more learned the lesson we all know, really, that nothing happens unless you sit down and allow it to happen. But only a writer or another artist knows how great the distance is between standing and staring down at your desk, and actually sitting down to create. You could drive from New York to Miami, and it would seem short compared to the time it takes to get from the edge of your desk to sitting yourself firmly in that chair.

We all have to make that long-distance journey, every time we sit down to write. It's the distance between dreaming and doing, and no one can make it easy for us. But if we're sure to pack plenty of coffee and water, and check in with friends along the way, we can usually manage the trip, no matter how protracted it becomes. And when we get there, our characters will be waiting to greet us. They may complain a little about how long we've been away, but in the end they're as happy to see us as we are to see them.